What Does Separation Anxiety Look Like in Children & Adults?

If you have children, you’ve probably had to deal with moments of them not wanting to be apart from you. Maybe they’ve cried when you dropped them off at daycare or school. Or, maybe they wanted to come home after a few hours of being at a friend’s house. After all, you’re their source of comfort and stability. But there’s a difference between missing that comfort and actually having separation anxiety. Unfortunately, it’s more common than you might think and can even impact adults.

It’s important to understand some of the signs of separation anxiety in both kids and adults.  What should you consider normal, and what might be extreme? With that in mind, let’s dig a little deeper into what separation anxiety looks like at different ages. 

What Causes Separation Anxiety?

There are many factors that can contribute to separation anxiety in both children and adults. For children, things like a sudden death in the family, a change in school or their home, or even parents going through a divorce can fuel their anxious thoughts. 

Many of the same factors can contribute to this type of anxiety in adults, including the loss of a loved one or a move. Some adults might also be at greater risk due to factors from their past, like a strict upbringing or an undiagnosed anxiety disorder. 

These factors don’t automatically mean every child or adult who goes through them will develop separation anxiety. But, if your child is struggling or you find yourself dealing with anxiety, it’s important to be able to pinpoint the source. 

Signs of Separation Anxiety in Children

Separation anxiety in children is more than just watching them get a little upset when you leave them at school. While that can be a sign you shouldn’t ignore, especially if it happens every day, separation anxiety will usually cause more extreme symptoms, including: 

• Nightmares

• Bedwetting

• Fear of being left alone

• Fear of getting lost

Your child might also develop irrational fears of being taken from you. While it’s important for every child to understand “stranger danger,” no little one should live in constant fear of abduction to the point that it causes extreme anxiety. 

Signs of Separation Anxiety in Adults

You might be surprised to learn that some of the most common symptoms associated with adult separation anxiety are similar to what children experience. Adults can have a fear of being taken or a fear of being left alone. They might also experience symptoms like panic attacks or social withdrawal. 

Both kids and adults dealing with separation anxiety can also struggle with physical symptoms. Some of the most common include stomach aches, headaches, dizziness, and vomiting. These physical issues usually stem from a state of constant anxiety, causing the body to feel so “worked up” that it manifests as physical sickness. 

What Can You Do?

If you have a child dealing with separation anxiety, you can ease their fears by keeping your transitions short and to the point. You can also have a goodbye routine that provides a source of stability and comfort. Most children with this type of anxiety will also benefit from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Talking to a therapist will help your little one get to the bottom of their anxiety, and they’ll learn the necessary skills to treat and overcome it. Adults can fight back against separation anxiety in the same way. They might also benefit from family or group therapy, as well. 

If you’re concerned that your child might have separation anxiety or you’re struggling with some of these issues yourself, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. No one has to live in fear of losing the ones they love. Anxiety Therapy can make a big difference.