Preparing for the Holidays: How to Handle Frustrating Family Members

The holidays are right around the corner. For many, that means decorating, fun parties, peaceful music, plenty of food, and, yes — family get-togethers.

The holiday season tends to bring people together. That’s often a good thing. You might already be looking forward to seeing some family members you don’t get to spend much time with. 

But almost every family has at least one or two people who are less-than-pleasant to be around.

Obviously, you can’t exclude them from the festivities. So, what can you do to handle those frustrating family members? How can you still enjoy your holiday get-togethers with them around?

Create Realistic Expectations

It would be great if we could all have Hallmark holiday moments at home. That might include several extended family members staying together under one roof, enjoying pancake breakfasts every morning, and partaking in holiday festivities for weeks. 

But if you’re assuming everything will go that way throughout the season, it’s time to manage your expectations. 

Frustrating family members can become even more grating if they’re going against the expectations you’ve already set. Of course, they don’t know what those expectations are. So, don’t blame them completely if they aren’t living up to your ideal holiday experience. 

Instead, create realistic expectations before seeing those family members. Then, talk to everyone about boundaries, and open up about the things you want and need — if you’re in charge. If not, be flexible and do your best to go with the flow. Manage your personal expectations, too, and you’re less likely to be disappointed. 

Avoid Sensitive Subjects

Often, it’s what frustrating family members say that causes people to cringe or even get fired up. If that’s the case, avoid triggering topics. 

Things like politics, societal issues, and even old family grudges can be sources of contention. Don’t bring them up if you know it will cause problems. If someone else starts to talk about those triggering issues, try to shut down the conversation calmly and politely by moving on to more festive subjects. 

Stay Grounded and Present

You might feel stressed and anxious just thinking about dealing with frustrating family members. Now is a perfect time to start practicing mindfulness. 

Mindfulness can help you focus on the present rather than the “what ifs” of what might happen. It can also keep you from slipping into past thoughts where you might hold onto some resentment. 

By focusing on the moment, you’re more likely to remain grounded with your family. You’ll appreciate what’s going on around you, and you’re more likely to be able to enjoy the holiday season. 

Mindfulness is also a great self-care practice. It can keep you from feeling stressed and overwhelmed throughout the rest of the holidays. 

Find Common Ground

If you need to avoid certain family members for your own well-being, that’s what you should do. Boundaries are important, and you shouldn’t jeopardize your mental health just because of the holiday season.

However, if you’re willing to try again with a frustrating family member, consider how you can find common ground. You don’t have to agree on everything. But what do you agree on? Do you share any interests or hobbies? You might have more in common than you think, and conversations like that can make your time spent with them much more pleasant. 

Every family is different. It’s important to learn how to take care of yourself and keep your mental health where it should be during this stressful time of year. If you’ve been dealing with frustrating family members for too long, keep these tips in mind. They can help you get through the season and foster better, more positive family relationships in the future. 

Reach out to learn more about dealing with anxiety or depression during the holiday season.